I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
