Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
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it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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