While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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