This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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