I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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