Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The adults are the big ones right?
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