CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
