You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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