perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
