i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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