Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
