well I can't set my house on fire every night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
