Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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