Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
