I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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