So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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