I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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