I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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