I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize