Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
