I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
