Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
