i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
