just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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