He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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