Will you blow on my dice?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
