why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
