So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
