We're facebook friends in real life
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish you could order shots online.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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