If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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