Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
