so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
