you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Damn victory sex feels great
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
