ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
