you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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