He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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