Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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