1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize