weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I want her autograph on my taint
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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