it wasn't lemon gatorade
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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