I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
