he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
