If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize