I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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