Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
