shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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