I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
