I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
