that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
