That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
