watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
