So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize