there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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